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How To Reduce Pain During Sex?

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28 March, 2023
How To Reduce Pain During Sex?
How To Reduce Pain During Sex?

If you’re someone who experiences pain with intercourse, you’re not alone. Painful intercourse is a common issue that affects many people, but it’s often a topic that is not discussed openly. The good news is that there are many ways to reduce pain during sex and make intimacy a more comfortable and enjoyable experience.


In this blog, we’ll explore some of the most effective techniques for reducing pain during sex, including tips for communication, positions, and relaxation techniques. Whether you’re dealing with chronic pain or simply experiencing discomfort during sex, these strategies can help you feel more comfortable and confident in your sexual experiences. So let’s dive in and learn how to reduce pain during sex!

Quick Recap on Dyspareunia


Dyspareunia, commonly referred to as painful intercourse, is a condition that affects both men and women. It can be caused by a variety of factors, such as infections, endometriosis, vaginal dryness, and psychological factors. Dyspareunia can have a significant impact on a person’s sexual health and overall well-being, but there are ways to reduce pain during sex. Effective treatments may include medication, physical therapy, counseling, or changes in sexual behavior. If you’re experiencing pain during intercourse, it’s important to speak with your healthcare provider to determine the underlying cause and develop a personalized treatment plan.

Sex can be a pleasurable and intimate experience, but it can also cause pain and discomfort, especially for women. According to a survey of over 6,000 women, about 30% reported pain during intercourse, which can range from mild discomfort to severe agony. Pain during sex can have various causes, such as vaginal dryness, infection, trauma, hormonal changes, psychological factors, or medical conditions.

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However, regardless of the cause, pain should not be ignored or endured, as it can damage the sexual relationship and the overall well-being of the partners. Therefore, if you or your partner experience pain during sex, here are some tips and strategies to reduce it and enhance your pleasure.

Tips And Strategies For Comfortable Intimacy

couple lying on bed and holding each other due to pain during during sex

Communicate with your partner

The first step to reduce pain during sexual intercourse is to talk about it with your partner, in a respectful and supportive manner. Share your feelings, concerns, and experiences, and listen to your partner’s perspective as well. Avoid blaming or shaming each other, and focus on finding solutions together. You can also consult a sex therapist or a medical professional for guidance and advice.

Use Lubricants

One of the common causes of pain during sex is the lack of natural lubrication, which can occur due to various reasons, such as age, medication, breastfeeding, or stress. To prevent or alleviate dryness, use a silicone-based or water soluble lubricant that is compatible with your condoms or sex toys. Apply it generously to your genitals, as well as your partner’s, and reapply it as needed during sex.


Low levels of estrogen can cause painful sex by leading to vaginal dryness and thinning of the vaginal walls. Estrogen is responsible for maintaining the health and function of the female reproductive system, including the lubrication and elasticity of vaginal tissues. When estrogen levels decline, the vaginal tissues may become less supple and more susceptible to tearing or irritation during sexual activity.


This can result in discomfort, pain, burning sensations, or even bleeding during intercourse. Treating low estrogen through hormone therapy, vaginal moisturizers or lubricants can help alleviate these symptoms and improve sexual health and satisfaction. It’s important to consult with a healthcare provider to determine the best course of treatment for individual needs.

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Engage in Foreplay

Foreplay is essential to make penetration comfortable and reduce pain during sex. It can help stimulate the clitoris and increase vaginal lubrication. Arousal can also boost natural pain relief mechanisms and reduce pain levels during sex.

Experiment With Sex Positions

Another way to reduce pain during sex is to experiment with different sexual positions that may shift the pressure and angle of penetration. For example, try the woman-on-top position, where the woman can control the depth and pace of penetration, or the side-by-side position, where both partners can enjoy close contact and intimacy. You can also use pillows, cushions, or props to support your body and make you more comfortable.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

If pain during sex is caused by tension, anxiety, or trauma, you can use relaxation techniques to reduce your stress levels and increase your body awareness. For example, try deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, or mindfulness meditation. You can also practice yoga, tai chi, or other forms of gentle exercise that can improve your flexibility, circulation, and mood.

Seek Medical Advice

If pain during sex persists, it is crucial to consult a doctor. Your doctor can evaluate your symptoms and suggest appropriate treatment. You may require medication to treat infections or hormonal imbalances. In some cases, counseling or therapy may be recommended to address underlying psychological concerns.

Manage Endometriosis

If pain during sex is caused by an underlying medical condition, such as endometriosis, vulvodynia, or vaginismus, you should consult a medical professional for diagnosis and treatment. Depending on the cause and severity of your condition, you may need medication, surgery, physical therapy, or counseling. Don’t suffer in silence or assume that pain during sex is normal or unavoidable.


Endometriosis is a medical condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus. It can cause severe pain during sex and other symptoms such as heavy bleeding, irregular periods, and infertility. There are different treatment options available for endometriosis, depending on the severity of the condition. Women with endometriosis have to be extra careful about pain during sex and must seek medical advice promptly.

Prioritize Your Pleasure And Intimacy

Finally, remember that sex is not only about avoiding pain, but also about enjoying pleasure and intimacy with your partner. Therefore, prioritize your own pleasure and satisfaction, and communicate your desires and boundaries clearly. Explore your own body and your partner’s body, and experiment with different types of touch, arousal, and stimulation. Create a relaxing and romantic atmosphere, and take your time to build up the arousal and connection. Don’t rush or pressure each other, and respect each other’s needs and preferences.

Treating Pain During Sex

Dyspareunia is a condition characterized by painful sexual intercourse, causing significant physical and emotional distress. Fortunately, there are several types of therapies available to help alleviate the symptoms of dyspareunia.

  • Pelvic floor therapy is one such treatment, which involves exercises aimed at strengthening the muscles that support the pelvic organs.

  • Systemic Hormone therapy, such as estrogen creams, can also be beneficial for women with dyspareunia related to menopause.

  • Additionally, psychotherapy can address psychological factors that may contribute to dyspareunia, such as anxiety and depression.

Whatever the cause, working with a healthcare professional to identify the underlying issue can help to determine the most effective treatment plan for reducing pain and improving overall sexual health.


Pain during sex is not normal, and it is crucial to identify and address the root cause of the discomfort. Discuss the issue with your partner, try different positions, use lubricants, and practice relaxation techniques to make sex comfortable and enjoyable. Seek medical advice if needed and manage any underlying health conditions that cause pain during sex. With the right approach, you can reduce pain during sex and enjoy a fulfilling sex life.

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