Couples sex therapy is a type of therapy that focuses on helping couples improve their sexual relationship and overall intimacy. The goal of sex therapy is to address and resolve sexual difficulties or dissatisfaction that couples may be experiencing.


Couples’ sex therapy is typically conducted in a safe and supportive environment, and therapists may use a variety of techniques and approaches based on the unique needs and goals of each couple. The ultimate aim of sex therapy is to help couples develop a stronger, healthier, and more satisfying sexual relationship.


Most of us might have a fair idea of what couples’ sex therapy is. Still, the question arises, “Is there an ideal time or situation for couples to seek sex therapy?”

Couples Sex Therapy: When Should A Couple Seek Support?

Couples sex therapy can be beneficial for any couple who is experiencing sexual difficulties or dissatisfaction in their relationship. But, should one only seek couples’ sex therapy if they are experiencing difficulties in their relationship?


The answer to this question is that there is no specific rule or guideline on when a couple needs sex therapy. And no, you don’t have to wait until you’re experiencing difficulties to seek couples’ sex therapy! In fact, seeking couples’ sex therapy when things are going well in your relationship can be a proactive way to strengthen your connection and prevent problems from arising in the first place.

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Sex therapy can help individuals and couples to deepen their emotional and sexual connection, communicate more effectively, and explore new ways to enhance their intimacy and pleasure. It can also be a useful tool for addressing concerns such as differing sexual desires, sexual dysfunction, or unresolved conflicts that may be impacting your sexual relationship.


By seeking couples’ sex therapy proactively, you and your partner can develop the skills and tools needed to maintain a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship in the long run. Even if you’re not currently experiencing any major problems in your sexual relationship, couples’ sex therapy can help you to continue to grow and evolve as a couple, both emotionally and sexually.

What Kind Of Situations Ideally Require Sex Therapy?

Couples sex therapy may be beneficial for any couples who are experiencing challenges or difficulties related to their sexual relationships, such as –

Couples struggling with sexual dysfunction

Sexual dysfunctions are common problems that can affect individuals or couples and can have a significant impact on their relationships and overall well-being. Some of the most common sexual dysfunctions include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, low sexual desire, and sexual pain disorders (where the person experiences pain during sex) such as vaginismus and dyspareunia.


Couples’ sex therapy can be an effective approach to addressing sexual dysfunctions and improving the sexual and emotional intimacy between partners.

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Couples experiencing a loss of sexual intimacy

Couples experiencing a loss of sexual intimacy may feel disconnected and frustrated with their relationship. It’s important to understand that a decline in sexual intimacy is a common issue that many couples face, and there are several reasons why this may happen. This may be due to stress, illness, infidelity, or changes in relationship dynamics.

Couples dealing with sexual trauma or abuse

Couples dealing with sexual trauma or abuse may experience a range of emotional and psychological difficulties that can affect their ability to connect with their partner sexually. Sex therapy for couples dealing with sexual trauma or abuse requires a trauma-informed approach. A therapist who specializes in trauma therapy can help both partners understand the impact of the trauma and develop coping strategies.

Couples dealing with differences in sexual desire or preferences

Those who might want to explore new sexual activities, deepen their emotional connection or learn new ways to communicate their sexual needs and desires. Couples may also face challenges related to differences in sexual orientation, where one partner identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or queer, while the other partner identifies as heterosexual. In such cases, it is important for couples to communicate openly about their feelings, experiences, and expectations, and work together to find a way to accommodate each other’s needs and identities.

What Happens In Couples Sex Therapy?

Couple In Sex Therapy

In couples’ sex therapy, a trained sex therapist works with both partners to address and identify underlying issues and develop strategies to improve sexual functioning and intimacy. Sessions may involve education on sexual anatomy and functioning, communication skills training, behavioral techniques, and sensate focus exercises.


The specific techniques used will depend on the nature of the sexual difficulties and the needs of the couple. Overall, couples’ sex therapy is a collaborative process that can help partners overcome sexual difficulties and improve the quality of their relationship. Each therapist would have a different approach, however, the process described below should give you an idea of what mostly happens during couples’ sex therapy.

  1. Initial Assessment: The therapist will likely conduct an initial assessment to understand the nature of the sexual difficulties and identify any underlying issues. This may include gathering information about the couple’s sexual history, relationship dynamics, and medical or psychological factors that may be contributing to the problem.

  2. Education: The therapist may provide education on sexual anatomy, physiology, and function to help the couple better understand how their bodies work and what may be causing sexual difficulties.

  3. Communication Skills: The therapist may teach the couple communication skills to improve their ability to talk openly and honestly about their sexual needs and desires. This may involve practicing active listening, expressing feelings, and giving and receiving feedback.

  4. Sensate Focus: Sensate focus exercises are often used in couples’ sex therapy to help partners develop a deeper sense of intimacy and connection. These exercises involves focusing on the sensations the individual experiences by using non-sexual touch and communication, gradually building up to more sexual touch and activity.

  5. Behavioral Techniques: Depending on the nature of the sexual difficulties, the therapist may teach the couple behavioral techniques to improve sexual functioning. For example, the couple may be encouraged to try different sexual positions or techniques or to use a sexual aid or toy.

  6. Addressing Trauma: If one or both partners have experienced sexual trauma, the therapist may use techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or EMDR to address the trauma and help the couple heal.

Couples Sex Therapy: How It Can Contribute An Improvement In The Quality Of Life

Couples’ sex therapy can be considered as a form of self-care as it focuses on improving the sexual relationship and overall well-being and quality of life of both partners.

  1. Prioritizing Sexual Health: Seeking couples’ sex therapy shows a commitment to prioritizing sexual health and well-being. This can help couples maintain a healthy sexual relationship, which can have positive effects on their mental and physical health.

  2. Improving Communication: Couples’ sex therapy can help partners communicate more effectively about their sexual needs and desires. This can lead to a better understanding of each other and a deeper connection, which can improve overall well-being.

  3. Reducing Stress: Sexual difficulties can cause significant stress and anxiety for both partners. Couples’ sex therapy can help address these issues, reducing stress and promoting relaxation and well-being.

  4. Addressing Trauma: If one or both partners have experienced sexual trauma, couples’ sex therapy can be a crucial part of the healing process. By working through these issues, couples can improve their mental and emotional health, which is essential for overall well-being.

  5. Promoting Self-Discovery: Couples’ sex therapy can help partners explore their sexual desires and preferences in a safe and supportive environment. This can promote self-discovery and improve self-esteem, which can contribute to overall well-being.

By addressing sexual difficulties, improving communication, reducing stress, and promoting self-discovery, couples can improve their overall quality of life and relationship satisfaction.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What should I expect during a couples’ sex therapy session?

During a couples’ sex therapy session, the therapist may ask questions about the couple’s sexual history and relationship dynamics and may use various techniques such as education, communication skills training, behavioral techniques, and sensate focus exercises.


2. Will I need to discuss intimate details of my sex life with the therapist?

It’s common for couples to feel uncomfortable discussing intimate details of their sex life with a therapist. However, discussing these details is often necessary in order to identify underlying issues and develop effective treatment strategies. It’s important to remember that therapists are trained professionals who are bound by confidentiality and will work to create a safe and supportive environment.


3. What can we do if we feel uncomfortable or embarrassed during a session?

It’s normal to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed during couples’ sex therapy sessions. It’s important to communicate these feelings to the therapist, who can work to create a safe and supportive environment. The therapist may also provide relaxation or mindfulness techniques to help reduce anxiety.


4. How long will it take to see results from couples’ sex therapy?

The length of time it takes to see results from couples’ sex therapy can vary depending on the nature of the sexual difficulties and the needs of the couple. However, many couples report improved sexual functioning and satisfaction after just a few sessions. It’s important to remember that therapy is a collaborative process and that progress can take time.

Sexual concerns can be complex and sensitive, it’s common for people to have a lot of questions regarding couples’ sex therapy and many couples may feel hesitant or embarrassed to seek help. If you have questions or concerns about couples’ sex therapy, it may be helpful to speak with a trained sex therapist who can provide more information and address any concerns you may have. You can also book a call with our sexual health experts at Allo Health to guide you through your queries and treatment.

Sexual health is as important as physical and mental health. In most cases, one consultation can go a long way. Personalised, discreet, and judgement-free treatment at your fingertips – book an online consultation with one of Allo’s leading experts.