Ep 14: All You Need To Know About Condoms l Safe Sex Tips

Sexpert + Topic Intro I was watching TV with my parents and then this sensualised condom ad came on and I was like, Oh my God, where do I look? And then I was like- wait, wait, wait. I'm old enough to know about condoms, watch condom ads, and even talk about condoms. And that's exactly what I'm going to do today. Of course, you know, the show- Allo #AskTheSexpert, a space where we invite sexual health and wellness experts to talk about sex, pleasure, wellness, and so much more so that you can have better sex, backed by science. Today we have another expert from Allo Health, Dr. Karthik, who's a psychiatrist. How are you doing today? I'm doing well Artika, thank you. So Dr. Karthik, like we were talking about condoms, I think condoms are the first thing that one thinks of when we think of sex, whether you know a little bit about sex or a lot. So are you ready to get into this conversation? Definitely. So I think when it comes to condoms, one thing that we want to talk about is safe sex. But on the Internet nowadays, there's a word called safer sex, which is trending. And I'm just sitting and wondering, what is the difference Safe Sex v/s Safer Sex between safe and safer sex? Frankly speaking, safer sex is possibly a a misnomer. Okay? There is no difference between safe, safer or safest sex. Yeah, This is probably invented by people who are you a bit more anxious regarding sexual activity, Right. You know, who actually want to feel a bit more safer- so they invented this. So probably, if you ask me, safer or the safest sex is always with protection and possibly, with a condom. Always. I mean, that's exactly why we wanted to talk about condoms today. So what is the reason that condoms Reasons Why Condoms Are The BEST have become so popular? And it's not just today. They've always been very, very popular for so many years- they�re part of government policies. They�re part of you know, public health centers as well. What is the reason that condoms are that popular and not some of the other methods? Yes. So when we talk about anything which is helping us in having a safe sex, or safer to be really frank. There are few things which we have to keep in mind. One is the side effect of anything which we use. One is the availability. Now condoms have revolutionized the sex industry because of the availability, first thing. And the other one is because of being devoid of any of the side effects which probably the other methods of contraception have. Yeah. So condoms as such right now are the cheapest and the safest method, which can be used as a contraceptive, which also actually as an added benefit prevents any kind of transmission of STDs- sexually transmitted diseases when you're actually involving yourself in any kind of activity. Yeah, you're absolutely right. You know, when you say condoms are not just for unplanned pregnancies, but also prevent STI transmission or lower the risk. Even then, I know of so many people Prefer NOT Using Condoms? who don't want to use a condom. So what's your take on that? Yes. So as I was telling that, are condoms is actually the safest and the cheapest method available right now. But there are certain religious constraints in few communities which devoid them from using a condom. And moreover, a few people do not use it because it actually affects their pleasure. However, there are new types of condoms now which are used to enhance pleasure, all these things. But condoms usually come with a small amount of anesthetic, gel in them. That IS in fact to increase the timing of the male partner, but as a side effect, they actually cause, you know, reduced sexual pleasure. So that is why some people avoid using a condom. I think that's a very scientific fact that you mentioned, though I don't think a lot of people even know that fact. I actually know a lot of people who've never used a condom and they�re like �we�ll never use it�. So I think if anything, this information should help them make a decision. So now when if a person does not want to use a condom, Different Options Of Protection there are various other methods which you can use. However, you should know that preventing STD- condom is the best way. Mm hmm. So we would actually stress upon using a condom as much as possible, especially if the person has multiple sexual partners or if it's something else. However, if you doesn't want to use then there are different methods. Like we say, the calendar method where you know, all of us know that the lady ovulates usually on the 14th day of her period. Hmm. So sex should be avoided between the 10th day and 20th day. If you consider the starting day of the period. Okay. Like if your period starts from first of this month from 10th to 20th, you should avoid sex. Maybe before that or after that, it's safe, but not 100% effective that you should know. And that's why we use the word safer. That it's safer. And it's not 100%. It depends on the context whether you�re looking at avoiding your pregnancy or you're looking at avoiding sexually transmitted disease Okay. So, apart from calendar method, then there are OCP- oral contraceptive pills. Then again, you know, the side effect of all of these drugs are too much. Yeah. Because they cause some period abnormalities, mood swings in the female partner, especially, sometimes bloating, sometimes weight gain, all these things. So other safer methods if you are with a single partner, if you�re married, looking for a long term contraceptive method which is safer is actually intra-uterine contraceptive device. Now there are various contraceptive devices again, rates starting from 1000 to 10, 20, 30,000. But you need to consult a gynecologist for that who is going to appropriately advise you which IUD is preferable. But again, it's reversible, so it should not be a problem. I mean like, very personally speaking, as someone who ovulates, I don't even think of the calendar method as a method of contraception. You know, like we said, it�s- kind of comes with a lot of risks and to the point that you made that you should consult a doctor- ah currently in India OCPs are also prescribed medicines- You can�t buy them over the counter. So I definitely feel like there's some weightage to you saying that- that any of the method that one decides to choose should come through a doctor�s recommendation for sure, and just talking about, you know, all of the various methods that you named right now which work to prevent unplanned pregnancies but do not work to prevent STI transmission. Is that correct? Yes. Definitely. Condom is the only way where you can actually avoid a pregnancy and a STD. Right. So it brings me to a question that I have to ask you, because I've seen it floating around all over the Internet, which is �Can you have safe sex without a condom?� SAFE sex WITHOUT a condom? And what does that question even mean? Okay. So to be really frank, I�ve had patients called me up, who consult me and ask, you know, I don't want to use a condom. I want to have sex, I want to prevent STD, is there any pill to do that. Yeah. You just give me a pill before sex- which I pop in and I�m completely safe. Is there a pill? No. Okay. If there was a pill, condoms wouldn't have been so famous. Not really. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So nothing of that sort. However, if there is a post sex- invariably have got into a sexual act, and right now we are scared. Yeah. Okay. So that way there are- there�s something called as �Post-exposure Prophylaxis� (PeP) where we give a pill Post & Pre-Propylaxis for a period of one month. Depends on the pill, frankly speaking. But again, none of it is 100% sure. These you have to keep it in mind- these were invented for doctors to help doctors, because if they're operating or if they're in contact with the HIV patient and there is some transmission, then to prevent the HIV from coming into our body, it was invented. It was never invented for the purpose of having unprotected sexual activity with the partner and then pop in a pill- doesn't work that way. Mm hmm. So the safest method, not even safer -the safest method is always a condom. Right. Got it. I think that was a really cool capsule about condoms and just explaining why condoms are so popular. And I do have to tell you that we do have a segment where we get audience questions. So can I take you into that segment. And for everybody who's tuned in, this section is called Ask your Question, where you can drop your questions in anonymously. There is a link in the description Ask Your Question- Sexpert Answers YOUR Questions! and maybe we'll take your question and ask them to the sexpert the next episode. So let's get into it Dr. Karthik- The first question I've got is �Can I get infections through oral sex? And is there a way to prevent it?� Yes, frankly speaking, if a mucous membrane touches another mucous membrane there's always a risk of infection. I think just to like, explain for the audience- �mucous membrane� Something (that is) a part of the skin. Right. Yeah, that does. Then there is always a risk of transmission. Definitely. Slightly lesser when compared to normal vaginal sexual intercourse. So the risk is more when we talk about anal sex, the risk is slightly lesser when we actually talk about oral sex as such, And with oral sex, you think condoms again, since we were talking about condoms, can be a way to prevent or at least reduce the risk? Definitely. Definitely. That is why there are so many flavored condoms, right? I think people don't know that. Also, a very good point you brought up. But yeah, moving on to the next question. The next question is �I used a condom when I had sex last, but now my period is late. Could I be pregnant?� Yes. You have to realize that even condoms are only 98-99% safe. There is always a chance of rupture of the condom. Or sometimes what people do is they wear a condom after having sexual intercourse for some time, just before ejaculation, just to avoid the pleasure. So the pre ejaculate which comes that can also lead to a pregnancy that might also have some amount of sperms in the body. So even that can lead to pregnancy. Yes, there could be a chance. You need to get it checked. You need to get it checked. Great. Absolutely. The third and the last question for the day is �If I'm having sex with more than one person, how often should I get tested?� You need to realize that even if you get tested just after sexual activity, the reports usually come negative. You usually have to wait for at least have to wait for 20 days. Where the body picks up, the infection starts throwing antibodies. That is what we detect in the test. Right. So, yes. How often now that depends on you. There�s an entity called venero-phobia, where people test themselves, you know, once every month or once every week for, you know, ages together? Probably not recommended. Yeah. Wait for 20 days after your previous exposure. Get yourself tested if you�re negative, just take that you�re negative until and unless you show any symptoms, or if you show any symptoms like there is a lesion in the penis or in the personal part of a female. Or if you having recurrent fevers, then it's better to get tested. There is no recommended criteria for this. Usually it is 20 days after your previous sexual activity. Got it. I think that was all of all the questions we had. And you answered them all so brilliantly. Thank you so much. That does bring us to the end of this episode. And before we go, I have to tell you all that you please keep your comments coming in. You can write to us. You can also DM us. This is me Artika and Dr. Karthik signing off. We'll see you again with another expert in another episode. Until then, take care and bye!